If you could hear me think, this is what I’d say:

In the words of Professor Farnsworth from the so-hilarious-it’s-coming-back-to-TV-show Futurama, “Good news, everyone!” You can now follow my all of my writings, including my aimless bloggings, on my new blog, “Slight of the Living Dead,” on Blogspot! I will still continue to post the “big” update blogs on Facebook and Myspace as well, but the Blogspot site will most likely end up getting the shorter “What If…” and “Why Doesn’t…” mini Ramble-O-Ramas that I sometimes can’t suppress the urge to let the world enjoy (and by “enjoy,” I surely mean “suffer through”). So, check me out at http://slightofthelivingdead.blogspot.com …if you date! I mean, dare. If you dare.

So, what else is new in the obese world of Tony? Well, for one, based on the previous sentence I have spontaneously declared Tuesdays to be “Poor Choice of Adjective” Tuesday. What a shriveled thing to do. In more concrete news, Bryrony and I took a cruise to Alaska two weeks ago, and it was awesome! I had never been on a cruise before, and I was very impressed with the entire experience. The boat we cruised on, Holland America’s M.S. Amsterdam, was 12 decks (stories) tall, and not so big that you got winded and took too long going from the front to the back. (“This ship is too big…if I walk, the movie will be over!” 5 points to the first person to post below what this quote is from! All right, back to the blog.) It had four restaurants (including a fancy two-story one that we ate at almost every day), a café, a library, a movie theater, two hot tubs and two pools (including one pool outside on the 9th Deck, rear of the ship), mini-basketball and tennis courts, and a two-story theater with live performances (including Broadway tribute shows, an Illusionist, and a comedian) every night. Oh, and Alaska was neat too. We made port (that’s a little boating lingo for ya) in three different Alaskan cities: Juneau, where Bry and I were apparently full of self-loathing and decided to do a 10-mile biking trip up and down the monster hills of the great Alaskan Wild, in addition to driving by the Governor’s Mansion, or as the tour guide put it, “good ol’ Sarah’s house;” Sitka, a teensy little town that is home to the Alaska Raptor Rehabilitation Center (I was GROSSLY misled by the name on what to expect to see here. I came to see coked-up dinos, and I got birds with broken wings?! Silver lining: I was able to sing “Broken Wings” under my breath almost the entire time I was there); and Ketchikan, “Salmon Capitol of the World,” a surprisingly cool little town where Bry and I did some rainforest ziplining and rappelling just outside of town in the beautiful Alaskan Rainforest. All in all, a great trip, even if I did have transient vertigo for 4 days after I got off the boat – some people feel the boat rocking and are glad to get back onto solid ground, I was fine on the boat and felt the Earth “rocking” under me for a few days after the cruise. That’s right folks, I’m “special” like ed.

Also recently, I took another trip – into the realm of performing improv comedy! (See how I tied these two paragraphs together nicely using a semi-forced common theme? Enjoy your free Awesome Writing seminar, kids.) A few weeks back I auditioned for and was accepted into IndyProv, Indianapolis’ only independent, Emmy-nominated improv comedy troupe. In the few rehearsals I have had with the talented cast already (yes, I know you are reading this, IndyProvers), I have had a blast and am looking forward to my first honest-to-goodness on-stage performance, which is coming up on Friday, June 19th, at Talbott Street Bar & Lounge right here in omnivorous downtown Indy (sorry, “Poor Choice of Adjective” Tuesday is rearing its ugly head again). Stay tuned for further updates on IndyProv – we have just started working on an improv Choose Your Own Adventure-type show called “Welcome to Blanksville” that is going to rock your socks off!

Okay, that’s all the new update-type stuff for now. Until next time, stay equidistant! (Dammit, I’ll never do another blog on “Poor Choice of Adjective” Tuesday.)